By Vivian Lee

Before I arrived at Medjugorie, I wanted to see how it would be to attend masses everyday. When I got there…the only thing on my mind was to be closer to God.

I believe the Eucharistic Adorations were one of the many highlights of my pilgrimage. It was through the peaceful music that I felt touched by the presence of God. I just didn’t want to leave at all because no matter how tired I was, I felt so attached to God that I didn’t feel the need to sleep.

My friend asked me if I would climb the cross mountain with her. So I promised to go with her without any doubt and also told God that I will walk the walk with him…barefooted. As I’m going up the hill, I realized that life is full of choices and no matter which path we take…God is there to guide us. No matter if we picked to walk on the sharp stones…God seems to compensate us with some flat stones afterwards and that’s how life is. As we face the daily challenges in life…God grants us the strength to be joyful and the courage to believe in our abilities.

I finally see a glimpse of why people would say “Suffering is a blessing” because it is through that moment that we turn to God and give everything to him…that’s when we surrender to God. Essentially, that’s what our Lord Jesus Christ wants us to do in our daily journey. He wants us to walk with him barefooted without any distractions. He does not want us to be distracted with all these materialistic things. On my way down the cross mountain, I put my shoes back on. But I realize that my path with my shoes seemed to be a lot more slippery and difficult to get a grip. And through this’I had another insight. I had previously thought that shoes would be better to climb this hill but the path with shoes seemed to be harder than being barefooted. I think God wants us to realize that our path full of sufferings is more rewarding than living a life in luxury. So my path with the shoes was God reminding me that my sufferings weren’t that bad after all. You might think that your suffering is so great at that moment but once you look back at it…It’s not so great afterall.

Coming back to Toronto, I was forced to see people getting angry, frustrated and impatient about earthly things again…I really want to be back to Medjudorie to feel the peace again. It was definitely a rewarding experience that strengthened my faith and also learned one of the many things that I must show my faith through my love and actions by serving others. I hope God will continue to guide me through my spiritual journey as I strive to make a difference in everyone’s lives.

I was “called” to visit Medjugorje in April 2005. It was a 10-day self-guided Italy-Medjugorje pilgrimage arranged by a group of parishioners. Foreseeing the trip to be quite disorganized, and having to leave my two kids home, I was very reluctant to go. The major reason to eventually join was to accompany my mother, who would have great difficulty climbing up the hills all by herself. My first feeling after arriving at Medjugorje was disappointment. What was I supposed to do in this rural city? No formal guide, no organized talks, I was disillusioned, especially after hearing all the great stories about Medjugorje, and right after visiting the magnificent cathedrals in Italy. Anyway, our plan was to stay for only four days, and then returned to Italy to finish off the trip. I was trying to understand how and why my sister, Maria, could yearn to spend her whole life in this small town.

The next day in Medjugorje when we gathered to pray, I noticed my rosary had changed colour, from silvery to a beautiful rustic copper colour. I have always been and continue to be a very rational and skeptical person. But this time, I am convinced, something unusual had happened. Cautious of pickpocket in Italy, I put my valuables (including my rosary) in a small pouch, inside a bigger bag snuggled deep in my knapsack. Will oxidation or other chemical reactions still take place within the three layers of “protection”? I never bother to find out.

When I went to confession and told the priest about my rosary, my frustration and disappointment with this trip, he told me that the changed rosary was indeed a sign of consolation from our Holy Mother. She was trying to comfort me, knowing how upset I was. I agreed with him and my affection for Medjugorje had started to change since then.

We returned to Toronto on April 30, 2005. Within a week, on May 6, I got the most terrible news any mother could possibly receive: my younger son was diagnosed with cancer. It was also the worst Mother’s Day (May present any one could have ever received. However, this present was actually a tremendous blessing in disguise.

Now I finally know why I was called to Medjugorje, to receive a sign from our Holy Mother that She is always with me, that She has heard my prayers, that She loves me and will help me carry my cross. Now I also know why my sister, a Carmelite nun, told me to offer my sons to the Holy Mother, the same way Pope John Paul II consecrated himself to Her. Just before we departed for the trip, she phoned (something she seldom does being a cloistered nun) and reminded me to do this offering at the spot of apparitions.

I hope our whole family can one day have the chance to visit Medjugorje. Not to look for miracles or signs, but just to drench ourselves in the loving embrace of our Holy Mother, to thank Her and our Holy Father for the many crosses given to us, to pray for help and guidance each step of our earthly journey.

Dear Holy Mother, thank you for calling me to Medjugorje!

“What do you like most about Medjugorje?” I get asked that question a lot when I returned from Medjugorje in June 2006.

I would answer, “It gave me a chance to be in solitude, and to be in union with God.”

Living a typical life in the city of Toronto – working in the lab 7 to 7 as a graduate student, teaching piano part-time, singing in 3 community choirs and trying to manage a social life on top of all these – didn’t leave me much time to be in solitude. Although I was leading a busy life, there was this big void in my heart that none of the above could fill.

In Medjugorje, I learned to slow down. I learned to do nothing but pray. I was reminded that the life that I have is a gift from God, and that it is time for me to put God, my Creator, back into the first priority.

One of the most empowering moments of my pilgrimage was during the public Marian apparition on Podbrdo one night. Thousands of people were up on the hill. It was 10pm. Mother Mary was giving her message to Ivan, one of the visionaries. Complete silence surrounded us for 10 minutes. I could not see Mother Mary nor could I hear Her but I felt like I was in Heaven. I realized at that moment exactly what can fill that big void in my heart; and the answer is, simply, peace.

Where do I find peace? From Jesus. How do you find Jesus? By chatting with Him.

“Pray, pray and pray; and I’ll intercede for you!” That’s all Mother Mary was trying to tell us for the past 25 years. If only we would listen.

Medjugorje is the place where you learn to filter out all noises in life and listen only to Jesus. Medjugorje is a place where you see people truly in love with Jesus and the Eucharist. Medjugorje is, as one of my friends put it, indeed the closest place to Heaven here on earth. Go experience it yourself. Now.